Have you ever met an uptight kid?
You take them to the beach and they’re like, ‘What time does the tide come in? 2 o’clock? OK, before that happens, I’ve got to make 10 sandcastles with little moats around them and it’s all got to be perfect!’
Little kids don’t do that.
They chase the seagulls, play in the water and sand. They might build a sandcastle, decorate it, knock it down, and start again. They know the art of relaxation.
You were that playful kid once. Perhaps you enjoyed daydreaming, sleeping in, or playing a game till late. When did you give that up in order to fulfill the expectations of others?
Ask and you will receive
I was talking with my friend Dexter Cutinha about the art of relaxation and how it creates a space for us to hear the whisper of possibilities that are otherwise drowned out by head noise.
Dexter was saying that he’d recently misplaced his notebook. He spent two days looking for it around the home, at the office and also the lost property section. Nothing.
Now, if you meet Dexter, you’ll quickly realise he’s a happy-go-lucky guy with a capacity for easy laughter. And here he was getting frustrated about a missing notebook!
Suddenly he just stopped and realised he could make another choice.
So, he asked, ‘What would it take for the notebook to show up with ease?’ On impulse, he checked the side sleeve of his laptop bag―voila! The missing book.
Dexter was able to laugh at his silliness and tell others about it. If we didn’t take ourselves so seriously, how much more creative would we be?
Ask and you shall receive is such an easy tool that it’s often overlooked. Literally, you can ask for anything. For missing laptops and new inspiration. For great relationships and good times. For each day to be greater than the next.
It’s easy to be relaxed when there’s plenty of money in the bank and things are going our way. Life is not always like that. There are challenges and conflicts; illnesses and lean times. What then?
Both Dexter and I are facilitators of Access Consciousness, a very pragmatic modality that empowers individuals to live from what we know is true for us.
The mantra of Access is, ‘All of life comes to me with ease, joy and glory®.’ Used daily, it is a dynamic tool that brings ease no matter what’s going on.
Admittedly, I’m a worrier.
When my son turned 18, which is the legal age for drinking here, I remember worrying the first time he went out to the pub. I woke up several times to check if my boy had come home safely.
Then I remembered the Access mantra and repeated it over and over in my head until I fell asleep. He’s older now and well able to look after himself. I still say the Access mantra every day. If we could relax into parenting, I wonder what this would create for family life?
Force vs magic
Literally, your point of view can make or break your capacity for a relaxing life.
How often do we force ourselves along a certain path because we have decided that’s the right way? Be it with a work project, a fitness routine, or even a date.
Control is a flat energy; it takes the fun out of everything. When you’re focused on trying to get things right, expectations pile up and you don’t enjoy the moment.
You also aren’t open to the magic that the universe can gift you in unexpected ways.
Is this the time?
For years, I was wedded to deadlines and would force myself to complete a project or a piece of writing even when nothing was working.
Nowadays, I have a different approach. If a project isn’t coming together or there are too many roadblocks, I will ask, Is this the time? If not, I walk away. Often when I take it up again everything falls into place. As if by magic. Or else I take a different tack. We’ve all had experiences where we got a job or made a sale by following our instincts and awareness.
When it’s the time for something to happen, it will.
Both Dexter and I know the universe has our back although we forget it on occasion and get in the way. That’s usually when the universe will send us a little reminder. A gift of possibility.
Trust yourself, you are magical.
When you get stuck in projections and expectations, ask: who does it belong to?
Get your Bars run. Access Bars® is a great way to experience the space of relaxation and receiving.
Your true being is that joyful little kid you once were. Recall that energy, isn’t it more fun than being uptight and in control?
So, make the choice to be relaxed every day. You might be surprised at how much your life changes.
*Based on The Art of Relaxation, a telecall with Nicola Silva & Dexter Cutinha on 28 April 2021, using the tools of Access Consciousness®.
Photo courtesy of Nerf Portraits on Unsplash